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It has been 104 days since Chris died by suicide. 104 long days that have flown by. 104 days that I have not had a brother. 104 days that my mother has not had a son. 104 days since my son has not had his Uncle Chris. 104 days that my sister and I have been consumed with what we could have done to help our brother, to save our brother, to support our brother. We are both at peace knowing that we did everything we could the night of May 29th to try and find and get Chris help. Some days I struggle with letting go of knowing I could have done more. What more - I don't know.

There are several text conversations I have seen that Chris's wife would threaten him that she was going to "tell your sister" what was going on. What was going on - I don't know. I think I know, but I don't know with any certainty. She never told me. Why was telling me such a threat? Because it was me. Shannan. The person Chris looked up to and wanted to please the most - his big sister. Chris would do anything for me and I knew this. To the best of my knowledge the only person he ever killed was himself, but I have no doubts that if I asked him to, that would be a different story. And no one would have ever known because he never would have said anything to anyone. Of course I would never ask my brother to do anything like that but that is the degree he would have gone for me.

I was the only person he didn't say goodbye to on the 29th. (Sans parents) Why? Why did he text December and not me? He was with his wife, he texted their daughter, a handful of friends, but not Shannan. Why? Because I would have told him no. I would have told him I would not allow this to happen. I would have told him that I loved him no matter what and we would get through this together.

He loved December - but a younger sister is different from an older sister. While he was protective of both of us, he felt like he owed me something. I don't know why. Maybe because we had more shared experiences in our youth. Whatever the reason, it was just different.

I know I will never know the answer but I feel as though I could have prevented Chris from taking his life. But I also feel he never gave me the chance. His wife never gave me the chance. They never told his sister. I never had a chance to save him. I never had a chance to prevent his suicide.

But I do have a chance to talk about his suicide. To talk about the pain his suicide left.

The World Health Organization's triennial theme for World Prevention Day for 2024-2026 is "Changing the narrative on Suicide" with the call to action "Start the Conversation". This theme aims to raise awareness about the importance of reducing stigma and encouraging open conversations to prevent suicides. Changing the narrative on suicide is about transforming how we perceive this complex issue and shifting from a culture of silence and stigma to one of openness, understanding, and support.

The call to action encourages everyone to start the conversation on suicide and suicide prevention. Every conversation, no matter how small, contributes to a supportive and understanding society. By initiating these vital conversations, we can break down barriers, raise awareness, and create better cultures of support.

December and I would like to take this theme a step further by adding "Tell Your SIster!". If Chris would have told his sisters we could have helped support him but he never gave us a chance. We realize that not everyone has a sister but we encourage anyone struggling to find a sister and tell them - it doesn't have to be your own sister, any sister will do.

Chris kept his mental health struggles to himself and our mission is to bring awareness to men that it is okay to not be okay. To support our mission we are announcing the (soft) launch of our brand Vintage American Creativeworks. Chris proudly founded Vintage American Woodworks to showcase the timeless furniture that he finely crafted by hand. We created Vintage American Creativeworks as a way to keep his vision and spirit alive. We have shirts and bracelets that we would love to get your feedback on - let us know what you think! Please share if there is something that would love to see added to the store. (And yes, we would love to write a book at some point.)

Click on the Wear Your Support button or head over to our ETSY store to check out our initial offerings. More items coming soon - after our soft launch gets all the wrinkles ironed out. Thank you for looking and reading our story. With your support we hope to save more sisters from ever having to endure the loss of their brother by suicide.

11% of every purchase made from Vintage American Creativeworks will be donated to organizations dedicated to supporting men with their mental health struggles. Our goal is to support all men, with an emphasis on men in the construction/trades industries. Our ultimate goal is to create our own non-profit organization dedicated to providing resources to men who don't know where to go or don't have the financial resources to pay for help.
Why 11%? Because Chris decided to hang himself at Lifeguard tower 11 on Carolina Beach. We don't know why he chose tower 11 but it seems fitting to donate 11% in his name.

We appreciate your support and you sharing our brand and mission with your audience! Shannan & December